


where I stay

by Hurrican3lov3



Category: Original Work
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Long-Term Relationship(s), POV First Person, a glimpse of a possible future, inner musings, literally just a snapshot, little bit of angst with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 16:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3576525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hurrican3lov3/pseuds/Hurrican3lov3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok so this...is something I wrote two weeks ago on my evernote.</p>
            </blockquote>





	where I stay

**Author's Note:**

> These little things that I type up on my evernote are really important to me and I really don't know what possessed me put it up here on Ao3 but...just don't be mean...please

There is a sense of uncertainty that lingers in the air, or maybe you think it's just you. 

Between the two of you he has a strange sense of optimism and buoyancy that wasn't there before and if you're honest (you've tried the whole lying to yourself thing and the end result was a horrible mess that still gives you nightmares and you already know you can't lie to him (you've tried but he's the only one who has the uncanny ability to see past your words and your walls and holy shit is it terrifying)) his attitude (read:him. All of him) keeps you afloat for far longer than you'd thought possible.

You don't feel optimistic, you're a dreamer and a pessimist half of the time so you borrow from him and sometimes it's hard to breath when you feel all that borrowed happy slipping right through your fingers. It's why you can't help but hold on so tightly to him, you think he can sense it sometimes but you don't say a word about it.

In the blink of an eye it's your birthday month (what?!).  
It feels like yesterday you were in the middle of January and you weren't sure whether or not your relationship was going to make it this far.

There are plans for a trip, it took the double efforts of both your mother and you to plan accordingly and you are all excited.

He's grumbling as you both pack up the car, you swear you know how to pack the trunk better and you roll your eyes when he decides that, 'yes that bag does fit there and no it won't block my view', but you know better and as soon as his back is turned you fix it.

Somewhere between: making sure the cooler is in reachable distance and worrying if you've packed enough clothes or the right bath bombs AND his complaining about the long drive and the possibility of listening to your music and ' _your mom hasn't called me Newman in forever, she's not planning to do something evil like leave me stranded over there is she?_ '

(Your mother's view of him has gotten slightly better, not by much but still better than before and you can't help but appreciate the effort she's put into not being so mean towards him.)

You are reminded of the startling realization (it freaked you out but lets not think about that) you had before your doubts creeped in. 

He is not perfect, just like you know you're not perfect and yes you fight like cats and dogs but when you allow yourself to think about the (scary, very scary) future he is in it.  
Fighting with you, protecting you, pushing (read:shoving) you to do what needs to be done, growing and learning right beside you. His is the face you see yourself waking up next too with his legs akimbo, body radiating heat and arms draped over you. 

You fight back the smile you know is on your face and when he stops talking to give you a look, he gives you those a lot. Usually followed by the shaking of his head cause he doesn't want to know what kind of devious things you were most likely thinking about (your mind is a dirty, dirty place and you're glad he knows it). 

You reach out and caress his cheek and tell him that he's adorable (he is, he is many things (hot, cute, jerk, handsome asshole, adorable, you stop yourself from jumping his bones a lot but lets dwell on that) and you've told him plenty of times if only he'd believe you).

He rolls his eyes and mutters ' _oh god'_ and you shake your head cause that's the usual response. 

You check the time and call out that it's time to go and as you're getting into the passenger seat a sense of optimism that is finally all your own settles beneath your skin. You can finally breath a little easier. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I typed up another one of these around the same time...maybe i'll put it up i'm not sure...  
> ~hurrican3lov3


End file.
